Thursday, May 27, 2010


Have you ever felt like you just kept tripping up, one obstacle after another was in your path keeping you from reaching your destination? I feel like the finish line is so close, I'm almost there and we've (husband and I)felt all along that this was the path God wanted us on. We prayed, we laid out our fleeces, we truly felt that we were following God's lead, not forcing our way or stepping out from where He wanted us. Now I'm second guessing that. I can't go into details but two HUGE obstacles have surfaced in the last week, one for each of us. I don't know how to discern if these obstacles are God saying, "nope, that's not where I want you" or Satan trying to push us from the path that we are supposed to be traveling. If it's God I want to stand back and see where He wants us to go, what He wants us to do. If it's Satan I want to push on through and fight to the finish. How do I know the difference? This is a huge crux for our family, either direction we go will have a huge impact on us for years to come this isn't a decision we can take lightly. I've prayed, and poured out my heart to Jesus and He has brought Jer 29:11 to me on 3 separate occasions.
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

But I don't know how to take that. Yes I understand that He knows the plans He has for us, and He wants us to prosper. But that doesn't really help me know which path I am supposed to take. Once again I think God could accomplish a lot if He would just use email.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Is this part of Government Run Health Care?

This article is appalling
I'm reminded of the account in Exodus of the king telling the Israelite midwives to kill the baby boys. In my opinion there isn't a huge stretch between what the king of Egypt did and what the president of Uzbekistan is doing.

I don't think there really is any debate about the inhumanity of forced sterilization. So the real question is posed in the title of this post: Is this part of Government Run Health Care? The article mentions that doctors are penalized if they are unable to convince two women a month into sterilization. I know under ObamaCare doctors are penalized for referring too many patients for specialized treatments and incentives are in place for essentially saving money. Well in the health care arena the way to save money is to deny testing or deny treatment or both. Do you want to see a doctor who gets a bonus if he doesn't do an expensive test? Or if he fails to mention an experimental treatment?
Don't get me wrong, I'm all about saving money! I'm more than happy to buy the generic crackers, ride coach in the airplane and buy clothes second hand. The difference is I get to decide when it's worth skimping to save a buck. Yeah I'm willing to buy the generic ritz crackers cause the taste the same, but the generic oreos just don't cut it and I'll pay full price because it's worth it to me. This is a simplistic example, but that's how I see the whole health care thing. If I have cancer shouldn't it be my right to decide what, if any, treatments I take? Shouldn't I have the right to know about any and all options, even the ones that would cost the moon? Shouldn't my years of hard work and money saving be able to buy me the health care that could save my life?
Oh I'm aware of the argument that the health care bill opens up these options for those who could otherwise not afford it. Yeah it sounds good, but in practice that's not the reality. The reality, as we've seen in other countries, is that there is only so much money to go around. To make that money stretch as much as possible procedures are denied, corners are cut and someone has to decide the worth of treating individuals. Who is it that gets to decide if grandma gets a lung transplant? It no longer will matter if she can raise the money, has good insurance or savings, it now is up to someone(s) who control the budget. How do you decide who gets saved and who doesn't?
Yes, I'd love it if every human being on the planet could afford to get the best health care available, that's not reality. That never will be reality. The best thing we can do is torte reform to bring the cost of medical care down to reasonable levels. Yes, the poor will still have a hard time getting good medical care, but do you really think that ObamaCare is going to give them good medical care? Ask all the Canadians that cross our borders for medical reasons.
a McKinsey and Co. report from 2008 found that a plurality of an estimated 60,000 to 85,000 medical tourists were traveling to the United States for the purpose of receiving in-patient medical care

Saturday, May 08, 2010

Mother's Day Sequestering

It's the day before Mother's day and I've been sequestered to my room so the kids can make construction paper cards for me. I suppose it's a good thing they want to make cards for me, it means I haven't totally screwed them up; right? I'll admit my kids don't always like me, but I'm not here to be their friend.
It's a mother's job to raise up adults. Adults that are capable of functioning in the world, of contributing to their society, and of raising up another generation of adults. When did we forget that children will not forever be children? That the temper tantrums we allow today will be the same one thrown tomorrow. Yeah it's cute how Suzie's bottom lip sticks out and quivers just a little, that same look isn't so cute on a 16yr, even less so on a 30yr. Why are parents so hesitant to tell their children no? or to allow them to struggle, suffer or stumble? How will they learn the stove is hot if they are never allowed within 10 feet of it? Shouldn't we be using these years to help them navigate the dangers of the world?
There are so many aweful things I wish I could hide my children away from forever but how would that help them? It's my job to give them a firm foundation of beliefs to stand on and then help them learn how to navigate the dangerous waters of this world. I can't do that if I never let them get in the pool. Yes, they may get a little water up their nose, they may cough and sputter a few times, they may even get a little scared, but that is how they learn. I'm right there to pull them out if need be, and I'll show them all the swim strokes and safe places, but I have to give them the opportunity or they'll never be able to swim. Then what? What if they never learn to swim? Someday they'll be out in the ocean and I won't be here to pull them out and the sharks and undertows are much more dangerous out there in the ocean than they are here in the pool.
I don't claim to be the perfect mother, I know I fail more often than not. I can only pray that as I stumble down this path of motherhood that in the end I have adults that are proud to call me mother and that they don't need too much therapy.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

International Midwives Day

the day of the Midwife has me thinking about what it is to be a midwife... For me, in a single sentence it is "To touch the hand of God on a regular basis." I've never felt more the presence of God than I do at a birth, even births of non-believers. So many times it feels as if His hand is right there, just on the other side of the perineum, cradling that baby as it is brought forth. As my hand reaches forth to catch the baby His lets go and our fingertips brush for just an instant. It's the most amazing thing in the world, and yet it happens a thousand times everyday. It is a miracle, that constantly occurs, an "everyday miracle".

I don't know why I have been called to be part of this miracle, but I'm grateful for it. Thank you Lord for blessing me with this work, for opening the doors for training, and thank you Janessa for putting up with me while I learn and being so willing to pass on the craft of being with woman. Thank you Nathan for supporting me and being the single father while I'm away so much, and thank you children for understanding that you are the most important thing to me, but in this moment I have work to do. Thank you to my friends and family for your support and faith in me. My prayer is that I will be able to rise to the calling the Lord has given me and someday be the trusted woman helping other women discover the miracle, strength and blessing in becoming a mother.