There's no turning back now

Your application has been accepted. Your File # is 1881

This was in my mail box this morning.

I cried.

I don't know why exactly but I'm sure some of it is that I never really thought I would be starting this path at least not until waaaayyyyy into the future. I'm sure part of it is also the fact that I'm slightly overwhelmed by the prospect of going to school for the next 6-7yrs and then there is the idea that if I fail or don't finish we've wasted a bunch of money.

Is it insane to say that I'm afraid of success. I mean we all want to be successful right? And what's the point of doing something if not to succeed at it? Of succeeding also means responsiblity and expectations. Am I ready for those? Can I meet the expectations of those around me? Of other midwives? Dare I even put myself in that catergory of student midwife?

Nathan of course has every confidence. He's certain I have all the knowledge and ability I'll ever need and I'll sail right through this. His biggest concern is that the school will go belly up and we'll be out our money and my education will have to start over. Gotta love him! I feel so lucky to have a husband that is so amazingly supportive. He's awesome!

Well I decided I would start with the Introduction to Midwifery Studies. I'm hoping this will boost my Doula business a bit so it can start supporting it's self and maybe, hopefully someday contribute to the family budget.