Monday, June 16, 2008

Am I broken?

I'm just so sad right now. I'm worried my body isn't working right... I just finished up what would be the second cycle after the D&C, more technically the first since I'm not sure you can count the D&C as the start of a cycle but it did appear I ovulated... anyway I only had a 10 day luteal phase and a 25 day cycle! Normally I have a 13-15 day LP and a 30-32 day cycle. The miscarriage was most likely due to a lack of progestrone and that is also what will cause a short luteal phase (the luteal phase is the time between the release of the egg and the period, this is the time that if a baby is going to be made it will, 10 days is generally not enough time for an egg to implant)
I just don't understand why, all of a sudden, my body doesn't know what it's doing!?!? Will I struggle to get pregnant? Will I be able to carry a baby? What is going on?!? I just want to cry. I've never had a problem getting pregnant, I've had great pregnancies and wonderful births, is this all going to change for me?
Am I old? (33) is it the water? (constantly getting notices of it's problems)Have I had too many pregnancies? (nahhh!) What am I supposed to do?
I just don't know where to go from here. I desperately want to get pregnant, I'm dieing to have new life growing within me, a new baby at my breast... I suppose most don't understand this desire, especially from a woman that already has 6 children. But it's there and it's ever so strong, pulling at my heart, twisting up my gut, bringing forth the tears.
We don't have insurance so a simple little blood draw isn't all that simple, but I think that's where I want to start. Having my progesterone tested this cycle...

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1 Comments:

Blogger Cat said...

Cami,

I'm sorry you are having difficulties with this. A short luteal phase was one of my problems during our infertile phase (we were married 7 years before we had our first, and of course you know we have 4 now not counting m/c). Have you done any checking into using natural progesterone cream? Also, vitamin A can help with this (from a good source, such as cod liver oil, not synthetic). It's been a while since I've done reading about this but those are two of the things I remember. I no longer use the progesterone cream, but take cod liver oil religiously.

Hugs for the emotional stuff that goes along with this...it's hard for a while after m/c.

Praying for you,
Catherine

June 18, 2008 9:43 AM  

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